What A Difference a Year Makes

I haven't posted here in over a year. Life happens, you know. Last year at this time I was about to start back at General Dynamics after being laid off for two months. I was still single with no prospects of even getting a date in sight. Then around Thanksgiving (give or take a few days) I got into an out-of-the-blue conversation about classic rock-n-roll music with a man who was just a face and a name on my Facebook friends list. That conversation led to meeting the man who would become my best friend, soul mate, and husband. Two months ago I married Shawn Campbell. The ironic thing about this whole deal is that I met him online. I was very much against the idea of meeting men online through dating sites or whatever. I mean, seriously. You can get hooked up with some weirdos and you don't know what you could be getting into. But since this was someone whom I had some idea of his beliefs and what he was like based on his postings, I figured, "why not?" Isn't it funny how God works sometimes? :-)

No Kids

I have finally realized why I do not have children, nor want children. Other than the fact that I have had no desire to be a mother, I guess my reasons are selfish. I want to be able to go wherever, do whatever, WHENEVER I want without worrying about children. I remember growing up and hearing people say, "well, we sure would love to go but, you know, we've got kids".......and I would think, "that's sad to not be able to go places or do things because you've got kids holding you back." Now granted, I know there are some parents who would not let that get in the way and sometimes I think those other parents used that excuse to get out of something, which is probably true.

A lady from my church made the comment that God knew what He was doing when He didn't give me that "motherly" desire because now I would be a single mom instead of just single. But, as I was telling a couple of guys from work, I NEVER envisioned myself as a mother. I envisioned being married but I wanted my husband and I to grow old together being able to travel whenever the mood struck. You know, wake up one day and just spontaneously say "you know, let's drive down to the beach for the weekend" or "hey, let's go camping for a few days." Spending quality time with each other doing new things, seeing new things. That's what I want. I guess I'll just patiently wait and see what comes along :-)

Today's Thought(s)

Well, let's see.....what can I write about today? I guess I can tell you about the new job I'm learning. Just to give some background information, I have been at this job with General Dynamics since March 9th. I was laid off from my job of 14 years on Feb. 5th. I was the primary order entry person and figured that my job was safe....not that I felt like I was above everyone and didn't think I should lose my job, but just thought they would keep the one with the most experience instead of throwing it on someone who had very little clue as to what was going on as far as order entry was concerned. But, I wasn't shocked either and had pretty much prepared myself for the possibility. Was I afraid or worried over losing my job? Not really. I didn't go into a panic and even spent the first two weeks just chilling out and not making any effort to look for a job. I was at peace.

Someone mentioned going to Elwood Staffing to see if I could find a job through them. After filling out an application, I was sent a email to come in and fill out more paperwork. After doing so, I was immediately told that they may have a job for me with General Dynamics doing warehouse work. So a week and a half after filling out the initial application, I started my new job. My friend, Mark, said that was a sign that I am one of HIS (God's) because he provided me with a job so soon.

After 3 months of mindless data entry, they finally paired me with the two guys who handle shortages. I cannot stand doing work that doesn't challenge me or doesn't require much thinking. I told Mark one time that I may not look like much, but I do have it where it counts. I don't know if people look at me and automatically assume that I am lacking in the brains department but that seems to be the case alot of times. My team leader made the comment a couple weeks ago that the project she was giving me to do at the time "didn't require much brains to do".....I didn't know whether to take that as an insult or what!!! I wanted to ask her if that was why she was giving it to me.

Anyway, this new job is definitely making me think and think HARD!!! I love it!!!

Second Night.....

and I'm still emotional. Most days I'm fine but then there are days like today and yesterday where I just cry. It's nearly 11:30 right now and I should be asleep but I can't fall asleep for crying. I've got church tomorrow and I don't need to be up late. I hate getting emotional like this. When will I quit letting this get to me? I'm so tired of being alone.

LONELINESS

I don't know which is worse. Being single and alone or being married and alone. The last ten years of our marriage, there was no relationship. We just co-existed in the same house. He worked third shift and I worked days. So after 15 years, he decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He had no desire to want to work on our relationship.....none whatsoever. I made suggestions and he turned down every one of them. A week after I moved out, my mom asked me if I missed him and I replied that I quit missing him years ago. I had already spent the past decade "alone" that the only difference was that I wasn't living in the same house with him.

A friend of mine who is about to go through a divorce himself said that he might not ever marry again because then he can go wherever, whenever he wants to. Granted, that's a plus!! But I've done the "go wherever, whenever" thing for nearly two years now and after awhile, you get tired of going alone. Most of my friends are married and have children so they can't just up and go out on the spur of the moment like I can. Around here there is nothing to do unless you like bar hopping. Don't want to get caught up in that scene. Last thing I want to do is get hit on by a bunch of drunk rednecks/hillbillies. But I am also tired of sitting at home alone with no one to talk to.

Some nights I just sit here and cry. Like tonight.

THE FIVE SOLAS

If you're wondering about the picture I have at the top of my page, it is the Five Solas. I learned about the Five Solas a couple years ago when I was just beginning to learn about the Doctrines of Grace and Election. They are:

Sola Scriptura--Scripture Alone
Sola Gratia--Grace Alone
Sola Fide--Faith Alone
Solus Christus--Christ Alone
Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God Alone

When speaking of Salvation, this is how it reads: Salvation comes to us through Scripture alone, by Grace alone, through Faith alone, in Christ alone, to the glory of God alone. Man does NOTHING. Christ died for our sins, the Holy Spirit illuminates our minds and gives us understanding of our sinful nature and convicts us of our sins, and God gives us the grace and faith to believe.

Forget all the "free will" stuff. We can't be saved through our will because our will isn't free. The Bible says we are "slaves" to sin. If we are slaves how can we be free?? Being a slave means we obey the master who has control over us. In this case, our master is sin. And what slave can just decide to leave his/her master when they want? They can't. The only way a slave can be freed from their master is if someone comes and buys/redeems their freedom. That is why the Bible says that Christ is our Redeemer. He bought us out of slavery to sin because He paid the price for our sin when He took our punishment on the cross.

The Bible also calls us "Trophies of Grace". I never understood the concept of this term until I heard a sermon by Jeff Noblit. When a athlete/team wins a championship title, they are given a trophy. That trophy is the reward for THEIR hard work and dedication to accomplishing their goal. They put that trophy on display for everyone to see. They're saying "look at what I did....look at what I accomplished". In the same manner, those who are God's Elect are called Trophies of Grace. We are put on display for others to see. Jesus can point to us and say "look at what I did.....look at what I accomplished". It is to HIS GLORY ALONE that we are called....that we are saved. So if it is based on our will that we are saved, if it is OUR decision to accept Christ, who gets the glory??? Well, then WE would get the glory. But it's not the case. It is through God's own good will and pleasure that we are saved and HE gets all the glory.

So our salvation does come through Scripture Alone, by Grace Alone, through Faith Alone, in Christ Alone, to the Glory of God Alone.....Period!

My Top 10

Things I want to do before leaving earth:

1. Go back to the Grand Canyon (and possibly fly over the Grand Canyon)
2. Take a trip on the American Orient Express.
3 Learn to operate a motorcycle.
4. Go to Alaska and see the Aurora Borealis
5. Build a log home in the mountains.
6. Go back to Las Vegas.
7. Take a cross country trip on a motorcycle.
8. Visit every baseball park in the country.
9. Visit Yellowstone National Park
10. See a shuttle launch before the shuttle program ends.